Emotional Scars
by Star-07
Summary: After a rescue cuts and bruises can be healed, but some scars go a little deeper and are much more painful to live with.


**Emotional scars **

After a rescue cuts and bruises can be healed, but some scars go a bit deeper, and are much more painful to cope with.  (Adaptations made since first being put up.)

"Define would you think of International Rescue? That ladies and Gentleman was the only question that was asked in this worldwide survey. Every nation on the planet has benefited from their work, they are known by a huge percentage of the population of this planet, their name can be translated in to many a language, and their actions would only be thought of a few years ago as cartoon worthy. Not any more, I have myself been touched by these anonymous people's work, by their courage, by their selflessness, by their ability to care for anyone whose life is in danger. Many people believe that great power brings the ability to control, to be selfish and greedy, to become evil, but when you see what International Rescue brings to the world can that really be true. They bring hope to the darkest day; they go to every extreme to save even one life when their own is in jeopardy. Distance is no problem whether it is on Earth, in the depths of the oceans or even in the vastness of space, they come. So to conclude this investigation ladies and gentleman I give you what International Rescue is to the people of planet Earth." 

Ned Cook reached out and opened the envelope that contained the answer to a year's worth of findings and began to reveal it to a world audience. The television show had a massive audience in every country in the world, as no one could get sick of talking about International Rescue.  

"This may not come as a surprise but I am pleased to tell you the most overwhelming percentage of the population describe International Rescue as one thing…" 

"True heroes." The face of the world famous reporter instantly disappeared from the screen as footsteps were heard approaching the controls of IR's global listening device. . 

"Funny, I though a hero never failed."

The young mans words expelled the emotions in his head and in his heart, hurt and pain unadorned his features but in his watch post above the Earth, no-one there to see him hurting. His eyes were heavy and unfocused, his body was begging for rest but the events just recalled themselves in the astronauts mind as he stared down at the beauty of the planet. The world may think of International Rescue members as heroes but right now the young man felt nothing but guilt, pain, sorrow and regret. That's not what heroes are made of, is it? 

He had paced back and forth as he listened to the live feed from the control panels in Thunderbird Five that had picked up the show; he like everyone else had wanted to know the result. Maybe because he thought it would help stop another tragedy like this from happening again, or was the young blond just looking for something to heal his pain of the last rescue. 

It was quite a simple rescue in the scheme of things for International Rescue, a small fire in the middle of a selection of buildings on the outskirts of a rural town, but due to the only having a small number of fire fighting equipment in the town, International Rescue had been called as the equipment couldn't reach the floor and the two groups of people trapped inside. 

.

"Firefly wasn't even needed at the scene, all me and Virgil needed to do was burn down the supporting doors and enter the building and then find the right floors. It sounded simple enough when Scott explained it, but it never seemed to go that way." 

It was cold on the satellite, dark and cold and right now Alan Tracy was exactly where he wanted to be somewhere no one could see him, where he could heal his pain, understand the loss, and disappear from the world. As he walked towards the window in the relaxation area on TB5 he remembered the horror of the last rescue, which occurred only yesterday. 

"The doors took so much longer than I thought they would, I should have worked faster. Virgil went off in one direction, when we finally broke though the doors of the stairwells, going to find the first group of people to save. I remember finding it harder to see through the smoke that was suddenly filled the corridor, but I kept looking and moving, that's when I heard it." Alan's body fell against the metal wall, and he hugged his legs close to him, as he spoke the images that were playing in his mind. 

"Please help me! She was begging me, she spoke so softly and innocently, but then she was only a child." 

"The hover bike was at maximum, but it wasn't fast enough. I hunted for her, praying she would call out again as the smoke got denser and darker the further I went down the hallways. I finally found the room she was hiding in, I heard her scream again and I rushed in to save her, tears lined her pale face as the toxic smoke filled her lungs with her every breath." Alan knew that any physical harm from a rescue would heal much faster than any emotional distress from the rescue, but that went as part of his job in International Rescue, but then that's a risk you take to be a hero.  

"She was wearing a pink dress and her brown eyes were large, but as I entered the room hope glimmered in them, I saw it. I got off my bike and ran to her but before putting an oxygen mask on her she leaned towards my ear and spoke." His typically strong voice cracked, and his glazed cerulean eyes shimmered in the reduced lighting.  

After returning home from the call out Jeff Tracy had come his youngest son hoping he could support him with some wise words: "International Rescue can't save everyone all of the time, however hard we try son." There was meant to be comfort and understanding in his father's words, but the baby of the Tracy family found none, he only saw her, and her words.   

"No. I can't get her words out of my head." The youngest Tracy son got to his feet and slammed his fist on to the wall and moved to the table to pour himself another glass of brandy. His father would kill him if he knew he was drinking on duty, or at all, but he felt he needed it to help him fall into a forgetful sleep.  

The glass was overfilled and raised swiftly to his lips. "She was just seven years old, and I couldn't save her. If I had worked faster or harder or not taken so much care I could have gotten to her sooner. Her long brown hair wouldn't have been covering my shoulder, her small body wouldn't have been unresponsive against my chest, and her beautiful hopeful eyes would never have shut, she would NEVER had died in my arms." Alan's grip fell away from the glass and it shattered into pieces on the cold metal floor of Thunderbird Five. 

"We tried to resuscitate her but she was gone, her body was draped in my arms as her mother ran towards me, she looked down at her daughter and then just stared at me as I held her child." Alan's body shook and a cold shiver ran down his spine, his voice seemed to echo around the ship even though he was only whispering.

"I never had to do that before, we trained and learnt how to use the equipment and how to work the controls of the Thunderbirds, and how to save lives. I never learnt how to tell a mother her young child died in my arms because I couldn't save her, I was to late." There in the privacy of orbit a tear emerged from distressed cerulean eyes, the memory would never be forgotten and always be painful, the Tracy sons were strong, brave and truly heroic but deep down they were still only human.

Alan fell asleep through exhaustion as the young child's whispering words rang around his head. 

"My hero." 

 I know it's very short, but I am bored!

R+ R, not sure if it's a one off or a continuing story yet. Shall I write more?

My other story In Enemy Control is finished and will be up after being beta read. Thanks Tikatu for that! 


End file.
